“…What if I told you to brag about your brokenness? What if I told you to flaunt your flaws and failures? To show off your shortcomings, sufferings and setbacks? And to boast only about God for the rest of your life?

That sounds backwards, right?. Because everything in us wants to hide our weakness, not display it. But, you know, this is actually what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. 

Paul asked God 3 times to take away a suffering he was carrying, something he calls “a thorn in the flesh.” And God’s answer was not to remove it. God’s answer was: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

And Paul’s response in the line that changes everything: “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me, for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

That’s what real humility is. It’s not thinking less of yourself. It’s being so honest about your weakness that you stop thinking your strength is your own. 

Now, I want to show you what this looked like in my own life.

Alagille Syndrome

I was born in 1992, and at just a few weeks old I was diagnosed with a rare condition called Alagille Syndrome. Alagille Syndrome affects my liver, my heart, my bones, 
vision, hearing, and more, which I wrote about in my book.

20 yrs ago, in my early teenage years, I had a liver transplant that lasted over 12 hours.

In 2008, I almost died in the hospital. My blood sugar level spiked dangerously over 113 mmol/l. The normal blood sugar level is about 4 to 8 mmol/l. My organs were failing, and the doctor told my dad to prepare for the worst.

As I stand here today, I also have a brain and spine condition, drug-induced diabetes, high blood pressure, a hip and knee condition, slight hearing loss and I’m legally blind.

And my story continues.

Mind

At school, I was bullied, isolated, accused, shunned, threatened, and told by a student that it wouldn’t matter if I died.

I was so confused. I kept wondering what I had done wrong to deserve such treatment from my own peers. And when I had no answers, I came up with my own conclusion. I was convinced that I was the problem. I told myself that it was fault for having no friends. And I believed in my heart that I wasn’t worth anyone’s time or friendship.

Self-esteem. Confidence. Two things every child, every teenager, is supposed to get the chance to grow. But mine was stolen from me even before I could begin developing it. And that stolen confidence didn’t just disappear, it followed me into my early 20s, in 2014.

That same year, I was studying a design course at TAFE when one day I found out that I had failed one subject. But I thought it meant that I failed the whole course. This news hit me REALLY hard. And as I sat in this deep feeling of stupidity, something else happened. It wasn’t just about that one failed subject anymore. It was the pain from my schooling years. It was the sick girl identity I never accepted or embraced. It was over a decade of brokenness and hurt I never dealt with and spoke about.

None of that hurt ever healed. It was all just buried deep deep deep down inside of me. One disappointment at a time. And that failed subject was the final straw. it brought everything to the surface. It became too heavy to carry. And so, I was defeated.

Spirit

I wanted to commit suicide. I even asked God to give up on me. But He didn’t. Because one night, that same year, I finally stopped hiding. I finally gave God everything. My shame. My secret. My failures. EVERYTHING. And I only had a mustard seed sized faith. And if you don’t know, a mustard seed is barely anything. But that was enough for God. He didn’t turn away from me. Instead, He rescued me from the darkness that year.

Now, my body is another battle, and this, God hasn’t taken away. And like Paul, I’ve asked to remove this thorn of mine. To change the narrative of my story. But it’s still here. I’m currently on the waiting list for neurosurgery, and when it comes to my future, I have nooo idea as to what lies ahead. But this is what I know, and what I’m learning: God’s grace is sufficient for me. Not someday. But today.

Some of you here may be carrying a thorn that nobody else knows about. Maybe you’ve asked God 3 times to remove it. Maybe your thorn is the pressure to succeeed in school? Or you’re struggling mentally, emotionally? You have a friendship problem? A broken family, or something else? If you are burying something today, please tell one person this week. A trusted teacher or friend. A chaplain. And tell God about it, because He is interested in everything that’s going on in your life. And this is not a sign of weakness. Often this is exactly how God’s strength reaches us.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to stop hiding. Stop burying everything underneath and start surrendering everything to God. And boast, not about how strong you are, but about how faithful God is. Because when I am weak, then I am strong!”