TQ pastor for giving me this time to share my testimony on Easter Sunday.
When I started praying for ideas of what to share this morning, God gave me two words, “Celebrating Suffering”.
Then, I searched up the word suffering, and these words were associated with it. Pain. Agony. Distress. Hardship. Misery. Sorrow. Torture.
Do you notice that all of these words are negative? Not one word is positive, which makes sense, because who enters pain and sorrow with a smile on their face?
For those who don’t know me. I was born with jaundice, which is the yellowing of the skin and eyes, but unlike other babies, mine did not go away and the doctors did not know why. So, they referred me to a team of specialists at the Royal Children’s Hospital. After various blood tests and examinations at the Royal Children’s Hospital, they finally diagnosed me with a rare medical condition called, Alagille Syndrome.
Alagille Syndrome affects my liver, my heart, my bones, vision, hearing, learning pace and physical development. Since then, I have been in and out of different hospitals to see many different specialists for all of my medical conditions.
The artery on the right side of my heart was narrowing and I had to go for a heart procedure, when I was younger, to put something (stents) in my artery to widen it and it’s still in my artery today.
In 2006, my liver was at the end stage of failure and I had to get a new liver to save my life.
In 2021, after years of deterioration, my hip bones finally failed me and I had to go for a right hip replacement surgery. Currently, I’m on the waiting list for a left hip replacement surgery and another surgery not relating to the hip (AND a procedure under general anaesthetic).
Also in 2021, my eye specialist told me that my right eye is legally blind and my left eye will probably progress as well. This was a shock to me and I had to battle with the reality of a world where everything would be pitch black one day.
Besides affecting me physically, Alagille Syndrome also affected me socially and emotionally.
When I was in primary school and high school, I was alone, bullied, friendless and shunned by my peers and I didn’t know why. So I blamed myself for being bullied. I developed a phobia of making friends and meeting new people. I had zero confidence in myself.
10 years ago, I was in the darkest place of my life. I was alone at home one day when my eyes caught sight of a knife in the kitchen. I wanted to cut my wrist and end my life.
These are just some of the experiences I have gone through. Yes, there were times when it felt like a never-ending cycle of suffering and hardship. I would try to stand up, but I would keep falling as misery after misery would drag me down. I’ve asked God, “Why am I here, God?” “Is it just to suffer all the days of my life and never to see or have any of my dreams and desires come true?” “Where is the good in all of this?”
But despite everything I’ve gone through and every negative experience I’ve had, God has made it possible for me to celebrate my sufferings.
The bible says that suffering produces patient endurance, and patient endurance produces proven character which is spiritual maturity, and spiritual maturity produces hope and confident assurance of eternal salvation. Such hope in God’s promises never disappoints us (Romans 5:3-5 AMP and NIV).
God has used my physical and emotional suffering to grow my faith. To teach me to trust Him no matter what and no matter what He is good.
God has also used all my suffering to grant me compassion for those who are chronically ill, depressed, disabled, marginalised, wounded, suicidal, helpless and hopeless.
Through my suffering, God has shown me that even in my physical, emotional or spiritual weakness, brokenness, and flaws, His love is constant, unfailing, unconditional, always present and I don’t need to be whole or healed to come to Him.
It is because of all my suffering, I can share who God is and what God has done for me. This has given me reason and motivation to write about my life in a book.
Here is my book which tells in more detail of my sufferings and the goodness of God. It is my sincere hope that this book will bless and encourage those who are going through suffering.
Today, as we celebrate Easter Sunday, we remember that Jesus Christ had to go through suffering on the cross, first, before the celebration of His resurrection. So, whatever suffering you may be facing today, whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual, know that the Lord walks with you in your suffering and He is moulding your faith. You are not suffering in vain. There is something beautiful to gain. God will make it possible for you to celebrate your suffering too.
Finally, James 1:2 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”
To God be the glory.
Thank you.